“We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.” ~Thornton Wilder
Photo by La
Photo by La
So, my family actually celebrated our Thanksgiving about 3 weeks ago. What’s a family to do when they’ve already gone through the blood, sweat and tears of a Turkey dinner?
Why, go to a casino buffet of course!
Strange, you say? Totally not classy, you murmur? IMPERSONAL, you scream at me (thus the capital letters)?
Heck no, I respond. Heck. No.
photo by El Jefe
Happy Thanksgiving!!
How was your turkey meal today?
(Even though it’s Martes)
"Standing still in the Yellowstone Lodge." Photo by El Jefe.
In this chaotic world, I love the constance my family gives me. I love the direction they provide. I love how they keep me grounded.
What’s on your Love List today?
from ModernPop on etsy.com
This is what I’m dreaming about today — I would like to get a motorhome. I would like to pack up my family of four in said motorhome. I would pack all of El Jefe’s cameras. I would bring a bunch of writing notebooks. Then, I would like to explore all around the United States for a year…or two.
Wanna come?
What are you dreaming about today?
The house is quiet. El Jefe took the kids to Costco so I could start on the whole wheat rolls that I’m supposed to make for the Thanksgiving dinner that our Young Men give to the widows in our church. Yes, that’s right. Me + rolls + early thanksgiving dinners. How many more can we fit in here people?
Instead, I started looking through photos.
There is a fabulous, well-lit wall down at the strip. It is perfect for that disco silhouette shot. Please enjoy.
- Photo by El Jefe
Si, hoy es lunes.
As I sit in my family room, decompressing from all my “day of rest” activities, I am wondering, “Why the heck am I shivering?” The Chunks are running around the house in shorts and t-shirts and I am in long sleeves, jeans, knee-high socks, and am wrapped in a fleece blanket. I started exploring through some photos and came across our summer shots. I think I could use a little sunshine right now. Each day, it is getting darker sooner, and, though I love cozying up on cold winter nights, tonight I find myself missing the sun.
Photo by El Jefe
Today’s love list item is Sunlight. Sunlight does so much for me. It makes it so that I can walk around barefoot most of the year. It makes the hair of Chunk #2 and her cousin Tori look cool in the above picture. It cheers me up in the mornings. It peeks into our windows and makes the rooms glow. It gives me tan lines. It makes me love water. It dries my clothes whenever my dryer breaks. It gives me Vitamin D. It would warm me up right now and stop my shivering (and just thinking about it kinda works).
What’s on your Love List today?
“Well done is better than well said.” ~Benjamin Franklin
There is nothing on my brain today except getting more of those proverbial ducks in their proverbial rows (and yes, I like saying proverbial). However, I do have an orange flower in my hair to make my to do list more fashionable today. And we DID make time for a bike ride to school.
Today, I will live by Mr. Franklin’s words.
Have a happy weekend.
***duck painting taken from Etsy listing.
Si, hoy es lunes.
As I was cooking dinner tonight, I couldn’t help but sing at the top of my lungs. I get in those moods. I wish my husband found this habit of mine endearing. I wish he would join in. Instead, he likes to tell me how I’ve picked an annoying song and to please stop (“I’ll Stand By You” by the Pretenders? Annoying? Come-on! That song deserves to be belted…plus I sing it to him…until he says its annoying…but I digress)
So, being the trained youngest child that I am, I think of other annoying songs that he hates. “La Copa De La Vida” by Ricky Martin. Another top of your lungs song. I don’t remember the words in English, but I love it in Spanish. In fact I think it’s better in Spanish:
“Tu y yo! Ale Ale Ale!
Go, go, go! Ale Ale Ale!
Arriba va! El Mundo esta de pie
Go go go Ale! Ale! Ale!”
My Love List item today? Spanish. It is a romantic language. There are songs I know in Spanish that just aren’t as good in English. Shakira? So much better in Spanish. “Only You,” do you remember that song by Yaz in the 80’s? So much better in Spanish by none other than Enrique Iglesias.
In college, after my life as a missionary in Argentina, I remember reading Pablo Neruda and swooning. Yes, I’ll admit it, I swooned. But, the English translation? It’s still lovely, it is. But I don’t swoon. That was when I truly realized that Spanish is a romantic language.
For any Spanish lovers out there, please enjoy some of Señor Neruda’s work on this Love List Lunes.
Oda a la luz encantada
La luz bajo los árboles,
la luz del alto cielo.
La luz
verde
enramada
que fulgura
en la hoja
y cae como fresca
arena blanca.
Una cigarra eleva
su son de aserradero
sobre la transparencia.
Es una copa llena
de agua
el mundo.
What’s on your Love List today?
I am looking at a one of those Willow Tree statues. You know the ones. In their earth tones and antiqued textures, they capture life’s most valuable moments. To be honest I used to not really care for those statues. But, just like becoming a parent makes you change your perspective, you learn to appreciate things like Willow Tree statues.
The piece I’m looking at has a mother with a infant on her knee and a child by her side. Her arms are around both of them. The baby’s head is turned in towards mommy, and the young son, standing by her side, is looking up into her face. The mom is leaning in, holding, loving, enjoying her children. Is she looking away? Is she distracted by some kind of duty? Is she cleaning something? Is she looking at the clock? No, she is completely tuned in with her kids.
This statue brought up some feelings of what happened to me today…
This morning I woke up before the alarm, and the pressures of the the day, the week, were already trickling into my sleepy brain. I looked at the time, rolled over and tried to to get in those last 15 minutes . . . but I couldn’t. My thoughts started to fester and a haphazard list of my duties started popping into my head like those talking bubbles in a comic book: “Have to make 50 of mom’s homemade rolls for early Thanksgiving Dinner this weekend…. have to finish washing the clothes from the camping trip…..it’s like a never ending mountain…have to get the dryer fixed! …Have to hang out all those clothes to dry…maybe I should just burn them….have to rearrange conflicts in schedule this weekend…have to clean the kitchen….I swear I JUST mopped that floor….have to make more food…..that apple pie takes 1 1/2 hours to bake but it’s Jeff’s favorite….and mine….why did I sign up to make Grandma’s famous stuffing?….no it’s not stuffing it’s dressing my mom would say….you don’t stuff it in the turkey, it’s on the side….whatever, it’s still a lot of work….have to exercise!”
These were just some of the things going through my head. These were the “Have To’s.” Then there were the other things. I promised Chunk #1 that he could ride his bike to school today. Then there’s Chunk #2’s music class that she loves. These things took time: Chunk #1 needed my company as he is only in 1st grade. And then Chunk #2’s class was clear out in Summerlin.
I didn’t want to face the day. I let the alarm ring at 7:00, 7:08, 7:16 and then, after really not sleeping, I rolled out of bed to face my duties and attempt the juggling act. Then something started repeating in my head: “I’ve got to get all my ducks in a row. I’ve got to get all my ducks in a row.”
That’s a funny phrase. Why was I saying it? I don’t know, but I kept repeating it like a broken record (or for my younger readers, a damaged mp3 file).
My brain was overwhelmed with this haphazard list of “To Do’s”. I needed clarity. I needed to stop festering. I needed to just start doing something. I tackled the kitchen while Chunk #1 bathed. I brought in some clothes off the line and hung the next batch that had been waiting since last night. I groaned at the idea of really having to finish the mountain of laundry this way. All the while, my brain kept repeating, “I need to get all my ducks in a row.”
“Shut up!” It was only 7:30 and I was losing my mind.
So I stopped right there in my family room, dropped to my knees in front of the couch, and started a prayer. My spastic pleading had words like “help” and “organize” and “slow down time” and “maybe while all this gets done could you please finish the house?” and then more “help”. I closed my clumsy prayer and immediately the thought came: “Just enjoy it. Just love it all.”
What?
Enjoy hanging out laundry?
Enjoy making rolls and stuffing/dressing for 50 people? (and not just any rolls or stuffing. These are moms special recipes. They need to taste like hers did. THAT’S A LOT OF PRESSURE!)
Enjoy cleaning?
Enjoy trying to juggle these things while trying to make life fulfilling and happy for my children?
The answer was “Yes. Just enjoy being a mom.”
So I did it.
I got up from the floor and I put on my running clothes. While Chunk #1 rode his bike, I’d run Chunk #2 in the stroller. #1 gets the joyful experience of being a big boy and riding his bike to school and I get to exercise. Two birds. One stone. Yay.
Ok what about #2’s class? I needed to shower! …Or did I? We got home, I changed, cleaned up best I could and then plunked a turquoise flower headband on my head. It looked fabulous. This would be my happy flower. And away we went.
I was especially aware of my attitude change the rest of the day.
After music class we ran to the grocery store. I complimented Chunk #2 on her big help rather than saying “walk faster!”
Later, since Chunk #2 had such a good time in music class she was content to draw while I started the rolls and pie. Once I got going and she was bored with drawing, I slowed down to let her work the appler/corer/slicer/peeler. A real treat. She added the ingredients to the Apple Pie. She felt big. I relished the look on her face rather than rushing through, thinking, “I could do this so much faster all by myself.” A thought I am guilty of on many occasions.
Other dilemmas arose. The rolls had to be shaped before I went to get Chunk #1 so there would be enough time to run there and let him ride his bike. The dough wasn’t rising fast enough as I could hear the clock tick. What to do, what to do? Drive there, tell him he can ride home another day? It would make life easier, and yet, how could I make this more fun for all of us?
Of course. My bike almost called to me “Hello! I’m right in front of your face!” It’s true, it sits right in the courtyard in front of our Blue Bungalow. I beat down the dough in the trusty Bosch and hoped it wouldn’t overflow by the time I got back. I pumped up my tires while answering a phone call (needed to make cookies for this Sunday…the proverbial rain was pouring here), and hooked up the trailer. #2 and I rushed out the door and headed for the school.
Why was I doing this for the boy? I’ll tell you why. It’s because I say “No” so much to my kids. Why not create more “Yes” opportunities when possible?
I especially enjoyed running and riding behind my son today because I felt like those moments were a bit symbolic. Him, eagerly moving ahead, Me, trying to keep up, yelling directions on where to go and when to stop or suggestions on handling the busy road. All I could do was hope he was listening to me rather than the noise and traffic of the world.
But I digress….
As we walked in the door I could see the bread dough over flowing from the Bosch. Great. “Enjoy it” returned the thought. Yes, it was funny. Sticky, but funny.
The kids helped me make the rolls, I almost lost my patience….but I didn’t. El Jefe got home just in time. Just in time for what? Oh ya, did I mention that I forgot I had Visiting Teaching? “When will I shower!?” I thought. More importantly, “What will the family eat for dinner?”
My VT companion picked me up. I shouted out baking instructions for the rolls as we ran out the door and got in her truck. Just as we were about to leave I saw #2 standing on the sidewalk crying for mommy. Again, I vacillated between annoyance and enjoyment. We were in a hurry, but no. There is time to console my sad daughter, my daughter who loves me and doesn’t want me to go. I carried her into the house with kisses and squeezes, showed her to El Jefe who didn’t know she left and looked at the clock.
“Oh no! I have an hour til writing class!”
“What?!” says he.
“I’m sorry, the day got away.” Meanwhile I’m figuring the dinner menu.
“Well, just go. Don’t worry about us.”
I bounded down the driveway for a second time and jumped into the truck. Away we went. We refilled our spiritual cups for about 45 minutes. Refreshing.
I came home, burst through the door to find my husband unloading warm rolls onto cooling racks. What a man. Seriously. I didn’t tell him how much in love with him I was at that very moment. As I gathered up my purse and pen and saw #1 and #2 savoring a roll, I announced, “Warm rolls and cold cereal for dinner!” Perfect.
Actually the day was not perfect at all. As I sit in this class, reflecting, I realize that I didn’t finish cleaning the kitchen, in fact it got worse. I didn’t figure out my schedule conflict for the weekend. I only hung out a few more loads of laundry and only folded half of that. I didn’t do a LOT of other “Have to’s”. But what’s a “have to” compared to my kids and their experiences today? The Chunks will remember #1’s first bike ride to school. #2 will remember “Going on a Bear Hunt” and “Albequerque Turkey”. My kids will remember my positive reinforcement (though sometimes given through gritted teeth) of being such wonderful helpers. Have to, Shmave to.
Thank goodness for stopping to pray. Thank goodness for for my positive reinforcement from up above (is it, too, given through gritted teeth?) as this child learns her place as a mother. Thank goodness for this writing class so I can pause, reflect and write about how I enjoyed being a mom today. And no, I never did shower, but, in case you’re wondering, the turquoise flower in my hair still looks fabulous.
photo by El Jefe
“The wild gander leads his flock through the cool night,
Ya-honk! he says, and sounds it down to me like an invitation:
The pert may suppose it meaningless, but I listen closer,
I find its purpose and place up there toward the November sky.”
- Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass, 1855, I Celebrate Myself, Line 238
There is the Autumn that is known to all of us. Leaves change from green to yellow, red, orange and brown. The birds fly south in large V’s, spanning the sky. Windows begin frosting at night with a soft glow from a fireplace warming chilled bodies.
And then there is the Las Vegas Autumn.
The leaves are still on my Mulberry Tree. When they change they will not turn crimson or orange. They will turn yellow and will fly off in a flurry on one windy November afternoon, leaving the tree abruptly naked for four more months. I see very few birds flying in a V formation towards the south. In fact, I see that probably once every couple years. But when I do, it is amazing to me. And as far as the cozy fireplaces go, we don’t think about using ours until the middle of December.
But, if there is one thing I think of in Autumn is how the world around me slowly goes silent, like Mother Nature uses Autumn to turn down the volume of her music. The crickets become sparse and start to retire, the birds disappear from one day to the next, and our sometimes 75 degree weather gets a little nippy at night, sending children and their parents into their homes sooner.
As much as I love the idea of Autumn that Mr. Whitman paints for me, I still love a Las Vegas November and it’s own blue November Sky.
