Si, hoy es lunes.

As I was cooking dinner tonight, I couldn’t help but sing at the top of my lungs. I get in those moods. I wish my husband found this habit of mine endearing. I wish he would join in. Instead, he likes to tell me how I’ve picked an annoying song and to please stop (“I’ll Stand By You” by the Pretenders? Annoying? Come-on! That song deserves to be belted…plus I sing it to him…until he says its annoying…but I digress)

So, being the trained youngest child that I am, I think of other annoying songs that he hates. “La Copa De La Vida” by Ricky Martin. Another top of your lungs song. I don’t remember the words in English, but I love it in Spanish. In fact I think it’s better in Spanish:

“Tu y yo! Ale Ale Ale!
Go, go, go! Ale Ale Ale!
Arriba va! El Mundo esta de pie
Go go go Ale! Ale! Ale!”

My Love List item today? Spanish. It is a romantic language. There are songs I know in Spanish that just aren’t as good in English. Shakira? So much better in Spanish. “Only You,” do you remember that song by Yaz in the 80’s? So much better in Spanish by none other than Enrique Iglesias.
In college, after my life as a missionary in Argentina, I remember reading Pablo Neruda and swooning. Yes, I’ll admit it, I swooned. But, the English translation? It’s still lovely, it is.  But I don’t swoon. That was when I truly realized that Spanish is a romantic language.

For any Spanish lovers out there, please enjoy some of Señor Neruda’s work on this Love List Lunes.

Oda a la luz encantada

La luz bajo los árboles,
la luz del alto cielo.
La luz
verde
enramada
que fulgura
en la hoja
y cae como fresca
arena blanca.

Una cigarra eleva
su son de aserradero
sobre la transparencia.

Es una copa llena
de agua
el mundo.

What’s on your Love List today?

I am looking at a one of those Willow Tree statues.  You know the ones.  In their earth tones and antiqued textures, they capture life’s most valuable moments.  To be honest I used to not really care for those statues.  But, just like becoming a parent makes you change your perspective, you learn to appreciate things like Willow Tree statues.

The piece I’m looking at has a mother with a infant on her knee and a child by her side.  Her arms are around both of them.  The baby’s head is turned in towards mommy, and the young son, standing by her side, is looking up into her face.  The mom is leaning in, holding, loving, enjoying her children.  Is she looking away?  Is she distracted by some kind of duty?  Is she cleaning something?  Is she looking at the clock?  No, she is completely tuned in with her kids.

This statue brought up some feelings of what happened to me today…

This morning I woke up before the alarm, and the pressures of the the day, the week, were already trickling into my sleepy brain.  I looked at the time, rolled over and tried to to get in those last 15 minutes . . . but I couldn’t.  My thoughts started to fester and a haphazard list of my duties started popping into my head like those talking bubbles in a comic book:  “Have to make 50 of mom’s homemade rolls for early Thanksgiving Dinner this weekend…. have to finish washing the clothes from the camping trip…..it’s like a never ending mountain…have to get the dryer fixed! …Have to hang out all those clothes to dry…maybe I should just burn them….have to rearrange conflicts in schedule this weekend…have to clean the kitchen….I swear I JUST mopped that floor….have to make more food…..that apple pie takes 1 1/2 hours to bake but it’s Jeff’s favorite….and mine….why did I sign up to make Grandma’s famous stuffing?….no it’s not stuffing it’s dressing my mom would say….you don’t stuff it in the turkey, it’s on the side….whatever, it’s still a lot of work….have to exercise!”

These were just some of the things going through my head.  These were the “Have To’s.”  Then there were the other things.  I promised Chunk #1 that he could ride his bike to school today.  Then there’s Chunk #2’s music class that she loves.  These things took time: Chunk #1 needed my company as he is only in 1st grade.  And then Chunk #2’s class was clear out in Summerlin.

I didn’t want to face the day.  I let the alarm ring at 7:00, 7:08, 7:16 and then, after really not sleeping, I rolled out of bed to face my duties and attempt the juggling act.  Then something started repeating in my head: “I’ve got to get all my ducks in a row.  I’ve got to get all my ducks in a row.”

That’s a funny phrase.  Why was I saying it?  I don’t know, but I  kept repeating it like a broken record (or for my younger readers, a damaged mp3 file).

My brain was overwhelmed with this haphazard list of “To Do’s”.  I needed clarity.  I needed to stop festering.  I needed to just start doing something.  I tackled the kitchen while Chunk #1 bathed.  I brought in some clothes off the line and hung the next batch that had been waiting since last night.  I groaned at the idea of really having to finish the mountain of laundry this way.  All the while, my brain kept repeating, “I need to get all my ducks in a row.”

“Shut up!”  It was only 7:30 and I was losing my mind.

So I stopped right there in my family room, dropped to my knees in front of the couch, and started a prayer.  My spastic pleading had words like “help” and “organize” and “slow down time” and “maybe while all this gets done could you please finish the house?” and then more “help”.  I closed my clumsy prayer and immediately the thought came:  “Just enjoy it.  Just love it all.”

What?

Enjoy hanging out laundry?
Enjoy making rolls and stuffing/dressing for 50 people? (and not just any rolls or stuffing.  These are moms special recipes.  They need to taste like hers did.  THAT’S A LOT OF PRESSURE!)
Enjoy cleaning?
Enjoy trying to juggle these things while trying to make life fulfilling and happy for my children?

The answer was “Yes. Just enjoy being a mom.”

So I did it.

I got up from the floor and I put on my running clothes.  While Chunk #1 rode his bike, I’d run Chunk #2 in the stroller.  #1 gets the joyful experience of being a big boy and riding his bike to school and I get to exercise.  Two birds.  One stone.  Yay.

Ok what about #2’s class?  I needed to shower!  …Or did I?  We got home, I changed, cleaned up best I could and then plunked a turquoise flower headband on my head.  It looked fabulous.  This would be my happy flower.  And away we went.

I was especially aware of my attitude change the rest of the day.

After music class we ran to the grocery store.  I complimented Chunk #2 on her big help rather than saying “walk faster!”

Later, since Chunk #2 had such a good time in music class she was content to draw while I started the rolls and pie.  Once I got going and she was bored with drawing, I slowed down to let her work the appler/corer/slicer/peeler.  A real treat.  She added the ingredients to the Apple Pie.  She felt big.  I relished the look on her face rather than rushing through, thinking, “I could do this so much faster all by myself.”  A thought I am guilty of on many occasions.

Other dilemmas arose.  The rolls had to be shaped before I went to get Chunk #1 so there would be enough time to run there and let him ride his bike.  The dough wasn’t rising fast enough as I could hear the clock tick.  What to do, what to do?  Drive there, tell him he can ride home another day?   It would make life easier, and yet, how could I make this more fun for all of us?

Of course.  My bike almost called to me “Hello!  I’m right in front of your face!”  It’s true, it sits right in the courtyard in front of our Blue Bungalow. I beat down the dough in the trusty Bosch and hoped it wouldn’t overflow by the time I got back.  I pumped up my tires while answering a phone call (needed to make cookies for this Sunday…the proverbial rain was pouring here), and hooked up the trailer.  #2 and I rushed out the door and headed for the school.

Why was I doing this for the boy?  I’ll tell you why.  It’s because I say “No” so much to my kids.  Why not create more “Yes” opportunities when possible?

I especially enjoyed running and riding behind my son today because I felt like those moments were a bit symbolic.  Him, eagerly moving ahead, Me, trying to keep up, yelling directions on where to go and when to stop or suggestions on handling the busy road.   All I could do was hope he was listening to me rather than the noise and traffic of the world.

But I digress….

As we walked in the door I could see the bread dough over flowing from the Bosch.  Great.  “Enjoy it” returned the thought.  Yes, it was funny. Sticky, but funny.

The kids helped me make the rolls, I almost lost my patience….but I didn’t.  El Jefe got home just in time.  Just in time for what?  Oh ya, did I mention that I forgot I had Visiting Teaching?  “When will I shower!?” I thought.  More importantly, “What will the family eat for dinner?”

My VT companion picked me up.  I shouted out baking instructions for the rolls as we ran out the door and got in her truck.  Just as we were about to leave  I saw #2 standing on the sidewalk crying for mommy.  Again, I vacillated between annoyance and enjoyment. We were in a hurry, but no.  There is time to console my sad daughter, my daughter who loves me and doesn’t want me to go. I carried her into the house with kisses and squeezes, showed her to El Jefe who didn’t know she left and looked at the clock.

“Oh no! I have an hour til writing class!”

“What?!” says he.

“I’m sorry, the day got away.”  Meanwhile I’m figuring the dinner menu.

“Well, just go.  Don’t worry about us.”

I bounded down the driveway for a second time and jumped into the truck. Away we went.  We refilled our spiritual cups for about 45 minutes. Refreshing.

I came home, burst through the door to find my husband unloading warm rolls onto cooling racks.  What a man.  Seriously.  I didn’t tell him how much in love with him I was at that very moment. As I gathered up my purse and pen and saw #1 and #2 savoring a roll, I announced, “Warm rolls and cold cereal for dinner!”  Perfect.

Actually the day was not perfect at all.  As I sit in this class, reflecting, I realize that I didn’t finish cleaning the kitchen, in fact it got worse.  I didn’t figure out my schedule conflict for the weekend.  I only hung out a few more loads of laundry and only folded half of that.  I didn’t do a LOT of other “Have to’s”.  But what’s a “have to” compared to my kids and their experiences today?  The Chunks will remember #1’s first bike ride to school.  #2 will remember “Going on a Bear Hunt” and “Albequerque Turkey”.  My kids will remember my positive reinforcement (though sometimes given through gritted teeth) of being such wonderful helpers. Have to, Shmave to.

Thank goodness for stopping to pray.  Thank goodness for for my positive reinforcement from up above (is it, too, given through gritted teeth?) as this child learns her place as a mother.  Thank goodness for this writing class so I can pause, reflect and write about how I enjoyed being a mom today. And no, I never did shower, but, in case you’re wondering, the turquoise flower in my hair still looks fabulous.

photo by El Jefe

“The wild gander leads his flock through the cool night,
Ya-honk!  he says, and sounds it down to me like an invitation:
The pert may suppose it meaningless, but I listen closer,
I find its purpose and place up there toward the November sky.”
-   Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass, 1855, I Celebrate Myself, Line 238

There is the Autumn that is known to all of us.  Leaves change from green to yellow, red, orange and brown. The birds fly south in large V’s, spanning the sky. Windows begin frosting at night with a soft glow from a fireplace warming chilled bodies.

And then there is the Las Vegas Autumn.

The leaves are still on my Mulberry Tree.  When they change they will not turn crimson or orange.  They will turn yellow and will fly off in a flurry on one windy November afternoon, leaving the tree abruptly naked for four more months.  I see very few birds flying in a V formation towards the south.  In fact, I see that probably once every couple years. But when I do, it is amazing to me. And as far as the cozy fireplaces go, we don’t think about using ours until the middle of December.

But, if there is one thing I think of in Autumn is how the world around me slowly goes silent, like Mother Nature uses Autumn to turn down the volume of her music.  The crickets become sparse and start to retire,  the birds disappear from one day to the next, and our sometimes 75 degree weather gets a little nippy at night, sending children and their parents into their homes sooner.

As much as I love the idea of Autumn that Mr. Whitman paints for me, I still love a Las Vegas November and it’s own blue November Sky.

(But it’s Martes! Yes, I know.)

I have a good reason for this late post. We were in a magical land called “California” and we decided to go computer free during our stay. Yay for us. It was wonderful.

So, for today’s love list addition,  I want to share that I love (adore, cherish, am crazy about, treasure, prize, have it bad for, esteem, fancy)
camping on the beach.

Just north of San Diego sits San Elijo State Beach where our little family has ventured for three years now.  This time we seriously had the best spot in the entire campsite.  Seriously.  The weather was perfect, the waves lulled us to sleep each night, and El Jefe showed me how to make the perfect  s’more (even though I previously believed that I had already perfected it).  Every morning Chunk #2 would say “Mommy, today is a happy day!”  And at the end of the trip, when we asked Chunk #1 “What was the best part of the trip?” and “What was the worst part of the trip?” his answers were “Everything,” and “Nothing,” in that order.

Nice and cozy

Our view

El Jefe + Middle of the Night + His Tripod = This Shot

Adios ciudad tan hermosa. Hasta el proximo!

What’s on your Love List this today?

Did I mention it before?  For just a few hours a week I get to work in the coolest health store in Las Vegas:  Herbally Grounded.

They’ve made some changes:

Just look at all those beautiful tins.  Pick an herb, any herb, most likely it’s here.

Si, hoy es LUNES.

Starting a new feature here at RAD – “Love List Lunes.”  Every Monday/Lunes I will add to my Love List.

Today?

I feel sleep deprived so today I will have to say,
I love SLEEP!

What’s on your Love List?

Yes, I’ve had a change of attitude.

For the past year or so there is one thing I don’t like to write about on this here blog, and it is the one thing that takes up my time, my energy, my heart, my soul. I have privately accused it of sucking my will to live. I have openly blamed it on my grumpiness. I have let it take away the best of me, ruin my day, week, month, and I have let it make me feel out of control. I didn’t realize my innate desire to feel in control….not that I’m a control freak…I don’ t think I am anyway.

What is this nemesis of which I speak? Home Renovation. Yes, dear friends, home renovation. I have mentioned before having romantic ideas of changing a home and making it my own.   The romance is over.  (And let’s be real here people, if I could really, and I mean really, change a home into what I want, then there would ultimately be a slide running from my attic, that would also be a playroom, right into my backyard pool)  Ok, so, this is my publicized note to self:

So, my first step in changing my attitude is to share more pieces of this journey. I loved this house at first, but now, years later I suppose I don’t like to share it because I just want to show the finished product.

Here’s a piece of our journey and this is where my bad attitude really began:

Approximately one year ago, El Jefe and I awoke to the sound of our doorbell. It was 6:00 am on a Sunday.  It was also the day of Stake Conference….you know, a day to sleep in just a little.  Anywhoo, at our door stood our neighbor, good ol’ LeVern, informing us that another neighbor had run into our front wall. I’m sorry, What? I imagined he was talking about our brand new wall but wasn’t awake enough to fully comprehend, or react. So, I followed the fellow out to our front yard where I found this:

Oh dear.  Speechless, was I.  That, and in such unbelief I recall laughing.  But if you know me, that probably doesn’t surprise you.  The driver had crashed into the wall and his front wheels were even up on the property.  You can see the tire tracks in the dirt here:

LeVern then said the guilty party had backed out, and parked in his own driveway.  Right across the street. By the time we came out we saw him standing there, inspecting his car.  Then we watched him pull out and just drive down the street….on two flat tires.  I’m preeeeeeetty sure he was drunk.

So, drunk boy is driving away from us and we know the license plate, the color of his car, and the make and model.  Oh, and he left a souvenir:

One might say he wasn’t on top of his game.  I felt for him, I really did.

My feelings for him didn’t go too far.  I was incredibly annoyed because it was bad enough that our house looked unfinished but then we had this wreckage to add to it.  Here is what our poor neighbors had to look at (this is what embarrasses me):

I’m so glad it doesn’t look like this anymore….so glad.

Here are some other photographic highlights:

Testifying.

We like LeVern.  He has passed on quite a few outdoor toys for our kids.  Unfortunately The Chunks think he’s a little bit like Santa Claus and are of the opinion that we should just waltz on over anytime and make requests. “Hey mom, let’s go over there and get a new toy!”  Right.

Diet Rite, neat-o.  I think we found a couple of old bottles in our other wall….the one we took down…on purpose.

Aaah the beautiful sunrise….

Hanging brick.

With every trial one must find the blessing.  After a long and arduous ordeal with the insurance company (I still have some pent up anger with that, BUH!) we were able to rebuild the wall, get a new fence, and even had stairs put in.  Stairs!  When we first moved in, I wanted some there but it was the last thing on the list.  I think this was the only way we would actually put some in.

So today, as I went to stake conference, I was grateful that our house has made so much progress.  I  was grateful that nobody ran into our property.  I was grateful that we got to sleep in a little.

I’ve even named our house.  She is now called the Blue Bungalow.

Oh, and before I go.  As part of my attitude adjustment I have added a blog button. It says “My Home is Hip.”  This will be my new mantra.  This button will also take you to a lovely blog where women show their own home renovations and projects.  I am not alone in this universe. Now sing: “I’m noooooooot alone.  Say it one one more time I’m not alone.”

G’night.

The “Halloween Howl” Highlights

Pondering his triumph over Voldemort

Likes looking at her antennae shadow

This Harry Potter doesn’t like spook alleys

Ladybug, ladybug…

Whip cream pie toss.

Plinko!!

This couple was COVERED with cotton candy.  And all those particles flying in the air?  Cotton Candy.  I  seriously considered standing close by with my mouth open to catch the big pieces.

I have this thing with the holidays. I love to make food a little bit festive.

I'll get you, my pretty!

Ain’t she great? I really like her.
Happy Halloweenie!

(picture from babygadget.net)

“Use what talents you possess; the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best.” ~Henry Van Dyke