“Uh-huh, Uh-huh, Yo, Yo…”

Archive for April 3, 2010

la mamacheetah instruction manual

It would be good if we all had our own instruction manual. We could throw in topics like, “How to thoroughly charm me,” or “This is my ‘love language’ and why,” or “What to do in case of mood swings.”

Here is a section on “Things that annoy me:”

#1 -Please don’t touch me with your feet. I don’t like anyone putting their feet on me with out permission. If you want to touch me with your feet, you must ask  first. And since most people don’t ask to do such things why don’t you just not put your feet on me, ok? Thank you.

#2 If I tell you I hate cats and I have a long history of reasons to hate cats, please don’t insist on acting like one around me. That’s right, don’t meow at me and refuse to speak English. Please especially don’t do this while rubbing your feet on me.

#3 When I’m on the computer ….please…. just don’t touch me. This sounds a little “OCD,” I know, but it used to be that I just didn’t want to be mauled. Then I didn’t want to have anyone on my lap. Then I didn’t want anyone rubbing their nose on me. Then I didn’t want anyone leaning on me. Now, I just don’t even want to be touched. If you must touch me, please wait until I’m done stressing out over whatever it is I’m working on at the computer.  Thanks.  Also, if you need my attention while I’m at the computer, do not impatiently repeat my name over and over if you expect a civil response from me.

Perhaps these are things I should work on. Perhaps. But for now, this is part of my instruction manual (Especially right now…while I’m working at the computer…. with my “attention starved” “cat children” around me).

What’s in your instruction manual? I won’t judge your quirks, I promise.

Happy Easter.

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