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Archive for April 8, 2010

A comeback from the “m” word (first written on 3/24/10)

photo by el jefe

Hmmmm, it would appear that I have not fully made a comeback because I have a hard time writing it….miscarriage….. Perhaps I should call this post “A comeback from ‘that which shall not be named'”. Or,  I should just call it “Voldemort”. Yes. How I recovered from my “Voldemort”.

Perhaps it is the weight that this word carries.  Its own definition says things like “expulsion” “non-viable” and “embryo”.  These descriptions are cold  and harsh (and kinda gross).  Use them in reference to me and my body and, ya, I recoil, preferring to call the whole experience “that which shall not be named”.

But that is only part of its weight.  There is some heftiness in this word that is not found in a dictionary.  In fact, there are no words, I believe, but these lack of words seemed to linger, heavy inside me.

Nature has taken its course.  And my brain must do a paradigm shift…again.

I think my main problem with the “m” word is that I want to move on and start fresh, RIGHT NOW.  I don’t want to dwell on it anymore…but my body isn’t letting me do that.  It keeps yelling at me like a sore muscle after a serious workout.  I did not realize how long it takes to recuperate from a “mis” (part the word is ok).

There are ways to recuperate.  Let me give you exhibit A on how NOT to recover:

  • After a check-up, go to the mall to find a hair flower to cheer you up.  Even if you think it’s not that far to walk, think again.  Then, think again, again, because you will experience some serious cramping after your long walk.
  • Spend most of the next day standing, while helping with an Easter Egg Hunt and then think it’s no big deal to weed the garden.  Apparently it is a big deal…that night, your body will let you know.
  • After said bad night, go to church anyway even though you committed in your head to stay home a relax.
  • The next day, go to work and think it’s OK even if you are feeling light headed.
  • My sister said it best: “You’re not treating this like it’s a big deal….and it IS a big deal!”  She knows when to speak and how to do it.  So, I followed her advice.

Now, Exhibit B on one way to recover correctly:

  • Watch Jane Austin movies, both modern version or BBC versions.  As many as you want.
  • Eat chocolate ice cream, straight out of the container.  It’s more comforting that way.  But don’t eat as much as you really want because you gain back the weight you lost in the “mis.”
  • Read a good book- “Shakespeare’s Secret”  (Apparently both Victorian and Elizabethan England are very comforting), and also start the Percy Jackson series…. Then dream of the days when you were an English teacher how fun it would be to use the first book in your mythology unit….then be reminded by your friend “Scott” that you’d never get to use it because you would have no way to pay for all those books for your students…..and then ponder the circumstances of our education and think about homeschooling…but I digress and you probably wouldn’t want to go on this tangent like I did.
  • Update your blog.
  • Play Sorry with the Chunks
  • Get out that old instructional book and find the hidden secrets of Photoshop.
  • Sleep
  • Play Memory with the Chunks
  • Take good herbs.
  • Sleep some more and more and more.

I always thought that if I had to be put on some kind of bed rest that I would just lap it up.  Ya, bring on the books, bring on the movies, bring on the lazing about.  I thought that was my personality.  Turns out I can only handle about a day and a half of that and then the crazy switch goes off.

OK, I don’t know how to end this post.  So, instead…………..Tell me about your comebacks.