My blog routine
If you were to look at my “Documents” file, then proceed to the file marked “Laura,” then proceed to the one marked “Writing Ideas,” you would find the dumping ground of my “inner blogging voice” that yearns to be a writer. Yes, I said it. The thing that I dreamed of in high school. I want to be a writer. Sometimes I think it sounds silly, like I were saying, “Yes, I want to be a model” – far-fetched and unattainable. But this blog is my training ground I suppose. It helps me. I write because it makes me know that I am me and that I live in an awesome world that is worth telling about. I recently read this quote via my friend Terresa:
“Instructions for living a life:
Be astonished. Tell about it.”
I want to tell about it
…but I trip over the words and sentences like an adolescent fitting into her limbs. I see so much in what others say and want to say it, too.
Today, Carl Sandburg described the summer moon: “I stay here sitting on the back porch / drinking white thoughts you rain down.”
The other day Jule Lechevsky told me: “I wish I could grow like a dandelion,/ from gold to thin white hair,/ and be carried on a breeze/ to the next yard.”
And I often remember Allen Ginsberg talking to Walt Whitman: “In my hungry fatigue, and shopping for images, I went/ into the neon fruit supermarket, dreaming of your enumerations!”
I feel it. I love it. Now how do I say it?
So back to my routine. I write what I can between the life around me. I get discouraged with myself. Then I search for a picture I or my husband might have taken that conveys what I want to say. Or I find a quote because somebody else says it better. Or both. But I file away my writing in my computer.
I’m annoyed at the product of my blog. It doesn’t totally represent what I want to say. It scratches the surface. But maybe that’s the point at this stage in my life. At least I’m scratching and picking at what I want to say. I yearn to say so much but it comes out like
… that is to say, that’s what it looks like in my “inner blogging voice dumping ground” marked “Writing Ideas.” So, for all four of you that look at my blog, I’m saying this: I have more to say and it’s coming. Between motherhood, wifehood, womanhood, Laurahood, I’m working on it. It’s coming.